Please read my story, I wanna know if it's good!!!?

This would make a great opening for a teen story. But, when you say cuddled, that gives the idea of curled up and held, maybe since you say she is stretched out in bed, just saying wrapped . There needs to be a connection between the room and the beach, such as: the windows of the house allow the sounds of the beach to enter my room. I would like to know where the "Speaking of vanilla ice-cream" leads. Good luck with your efforts. I admire anyone who will put the time and effort into trying to write.